Six years since we met, it has been a beautiful journey till now. I can’t believe its your big day tomorrow. The day you have been waiting for since your childhood, the day we have been planning for so long and today, when the day has arrived it actually feels something else. It makes me feel happy, sad and jealous at the same time. Tomorrow is the day you are going to start a new life. All of a sudden someone would mean much more to you than everybody else. You will make new memories with him and our memories will slowly fade away.
Today all our memories came flooding back to me. We were inseparable. Such a beautiful little family we had become. Or perhaps more than a family. We have literally grown up together. Experienced the world together. Laughed, cried and laughed till we cried together. Loved and cared for each other at our worst because when nobody else understood us, only we knew what pain we were going through. It makes me smile how our friendship had been tested numerous times but the best thing is that every time we never even thought of giving up on each other. We forgave each other without even asking for explanations or being sorry. Encouraged, protected and defended each other against all the odds and threats. Bunking classes, late night movies, funny rickshaw rides, our shopping sprees, cracking silly jokes on others, mimicking Amber Mall (our hostel warden), acting pregnant and drunk, long walks, telling each other horror stories, dancing like maniacs and what not! All this made our friendship grow super strong.
How powerless we were that we could not stop the time until it drifted us apart one by one and everyone got busy with their professional lives. But even though we are hundreds of miles apart our hearts still beat together. We never fail to understand each others silence even on the phone calls and text messages. And when we talk, we do not take a second to turn into the same crazy kidults we once were 🙂
Thank you for giving me so many wonderful memories to cherish for the rest of my life. You guys are my lifelines and will always be. I live because you guys helped me. I love because you guys loved me. And hey you! The bride to be! We wish you all the happiness in the world. You are one crazy person but try to be a sensible wife 😛 We will always stand by your side no matter what.
Yeh parda daari hai ya koi tamasha? Mujh he mein reh kar, Mujh he se parda? Main qafilay kay saath rawaa’n tha kay us ne mujh par nigah daali aur us aik nigah ne mujhay meray qafilay se juda kar diya. Sab saathi apni manzilon ko pohnchay.. Aur us nigah e faiz ne mere safar ko he meri manzil kar diya…
This was not the first time I said goodbye to someone. I have come across a lot of people who came into my life and so many who left for good. Some taught me good lessons and left, others stayed and changed me completely. So along with saying a lot of hellos, all these years I have said many goodbyes as well. But today it was different. This one felt messy. This one left an ache in my heart that only he can fill up again.
The interesting thing about goodbyes is that instead of getting easier by the time, I have realized that every new goodbye does more damage to my heart than the previous one. Maybe that is because every person when leaves, takes with him a little part of us, leaving us more vulnerable than before. So with time we get weaker and it keeps getting more difficult to part ways from the people we love.
However some goodbyes feel right because the happiness to reunite again may not be possible without saying a goodbye. They make you realize how much that person means to you. Other goodbyes have an element of finality which makes them harder. When you know that this is the last time you are going to see that person you thought would stay forever. When you could do anything to make that person stay but nothing works. Such goodbyes drain us. They change us. They leave us incomplete.
Goodbyes teach us a great lesson. A lesson that this world is not forever. That we were not made for this world and that everybody is going to leave sooner or later. But we often forget how temporary this world is allowing ourselves to get attached to the perishable, to get satisfied with the material, instead of holding out for the eternal. That is what makes goodbyes difficult.
So with every hello, there tends to be a goodbye as well. Along with celebrating the beginning, we must prepare ourselves and welcome the end of all things too. For sometimes, knowing that nothing lasts forever is the only way we can learn to fall in love with all the moments and all the people that are meant to take our breath away.
Life is terrible at times. Sometimes you want to make things happen in a certain way but you end up messing it all. That is when you realize how incapable and powerless you are. That is when you find out that everything will happen as it is destined to happen and not according to your wish and will.
Human beings are super selfish creatures. They hurt others. They break others hearts. They make them vulnerable. We all have been selfish one way or the other. We make the choices we want without realizing how it is going to affect others. But the burden of hurting another person will rest heavy on your shoulders at some point in your life. There is no running from it.
This does not mean that the whole human race is comprised of heartless monsters but the truth is at some point of life even the people who care the most will do something that needs to be forgiven. We hurt people because life is all about choices. At every step of your life you have to choose. And with every choice, there is a possibility that someone around you will be hurt with what you choose. Usually we end up causing the most pain to the people we love the most. That may be because we know they will always stick around no matter what happens, no matter how we treat them, no matter what we choose over them. However, they deserve a lot better than this. But if hurting them becomes inevitable at some point, try to minimize the damage as much as possible. Pray that the pain you are about to give them makes them tougher and stronger. Hope that it does not break them. Because whatever you are going to give, will eventually come back to you sooner or later. This is how exactly the nature works 🙂
For those of you who get hurt by the people you love the most I want to say one thing. It’s okay to be afraid of being vulnerable in the hands of someone you love, if it weren’t that way, it wouldn’t be worth it!
Sufi poetry mein jo baat hum sab ki samajh mein ba-asaani ajati hai wo yeh k aik aisi hasti kahin na kahin, ya phir shayad har jaga, mojood hai jo dar asal hai toh aik lekin hum usay alag alag naam se yaad kartay hain. Khuda ki Hasti! USKA wujood! WOH kehta hai kay hamari shah-rugg se bhi qareeb hai lekin phir kabhi mehsoos hota hai aur kabhi USKO dhoondne mein sadiyaan bhi kam parti hain. Shayad Khuda ko bhi shararat ka shauk ho? Magar Khuda ko shararat kyun karni hogi? Kehtay hain WOH toh sab janta hai. Agar aisa hai toh phir hum se dua karnay ko kyun kehta hai? Shayad WOH chahta hai kay hum USAY pukarein, USKO dil se yaad karein, US se communicate karein. Toh is se yeh sabit hua k communicate karna kitna zaruri hai. Magar yeh communication kisi kitab se ya lectures se nahin aati. Yeh toh bas dil se hota hai. Jis ki jesi samajh, uska wesa Khuda aur wesa he raabta. Bohat say loag shayad meri is baat se disagree karein. Lekin mujhe parwah nahin. Main bas apne Khuda ka ilm rakhti hoon aur tu apnay khuda ka!
Loag aksar mujhe mazak mein kehtay hain kay tumhara dimagh parh parh kay kharab hogaya hai. Main yeh sochti hoon kay Baba Bullay Shah toh kehtay hain kay
“Parh Parh Aalim Faazil Hoya Tay Kadi Apnay Aap Nu Parheya He Nai….”
Wese toh yeh bohat famous song bana magar mujhe yaqeen hai k majority ne isay bas aik gana he samjha aur iska asal matlab jana he nahin. Dar asal is kalaam ki tehh mein jayen toh andaza hota hai actually insan ki haqeeqat kya hai. Woh haqeeqat jisko samajhtay samajhtay insan apni zaat he kho deta hai. Magar phir kehtay hain kay usi khoay huay ko sab milta bhi hai. Uski haqeeqat milti hai. Uska Khuda milta hai. Woh jo duniya mein kahin aur nahin milta. Na masjidon mein, na mandiron mein. Woh phir insan ko apne tootay huay dil mein milta hai. Us milnay mein jo sukoon hai, woh lafzon mein bayaan karna bhi mumkin nahin. Magar phir us milnay kay liye pehle apni zaat ka khona shart hai. Kyun kay aisa milna bhi kya milna jis ko paanay ki khwahish mei, main apni mukamal hasti he na kho baithoon?
Kabhi kabhi insaan har jagah aik chehray ko talash karta hai aur kabhi jab woh chehra samnay ajaye toh usi se dur bhagnay ki koshish karta hai. Kabhi jab insan ko kisi ki zaroorat hoti hai aur woh na nazar aye toh ajeeb si baycheni hoti hai aur kabhi jab wohi qareeb ho toh bohat se darr aur khauf ki wajah se us se dur bhagna chahta hai. Jesay k hasil kar k dobara kho denay ka darr, society ka, aas paas k logon ka darr ya phir apni dunia mein kisi aur ki interference ka darr! Faiz Ahmad Faiz bhi kya kamal likhtay hain k ‘Rahatein aur bhi hain, vasl ki rahat k siwa…’
Insan bhi kya ajeeb makhlook hai na. Khud ko jaan boojh kay bay sukoon rakhta hai aur phir khud he sukoon ki talash mein nikal parta hai. Ab sawal yeh hai k insan kyun chahta hai khud ko bay-sukoon rakhna? Kisi shayar ne kaha k ‘Zindagi gham ka darya hai’ lekin yeh darya bhi toh hamari soch se he paida hua. Jo insan present moment kay shaoor mein rehta hai, woh is bay-sukooni se dur rehta hai. Insan ko dukh kya hain? Kisi cheez kay kho janay ka dukh, maazi ka koi wakeya, daulat, jawani ya shohrat.. koi bhi cheez jo insan kay hath se chali gayi aur ab wapis nahin asakti toh woh insan ka dukh ban jati hai. Zindagi bojh mehsoos honay lag jati hai. Dar-haqeeqat toh yeh bojh hum ne khud he uthaye hain. Zindagi toh aisi nahin thi. Yeh jo hum dukhon kay, shikwon kay, mehroomiyon kay bojh uthaye phirtay hain, yeh bunyadi tor pay toh maazi se taluq rakhtay hain. Phir insan pay bojh hain andeshon kay, anjanay khauf kay jese kay agar aisa na hua toh kya hoga? Lekin jo sukoon paa letay hain woh is sab se agay nikal jatay hain, maazi aur mustaqbil ki fiqar se agay nikal jatay hain. Un kay liye har lamha aik poori zindagi hai, un kay liye har lamha yeh kainaat takhleeq bhi ho rahi hai aur fanaa bhi! Aisa shakhs har lamha sukoon mein hai, rahat mein hai, hairat mein hai.
Magar phir sukoon bhi toh unhi ko milta hai jo bay-sukoon ho chukay hon? Agar mujhay Allah ki yaad mein sukoon milta hai toh phir Allah se doori mein jo bay-sukooni hai dar asal wohi toh mujhe sukoon ki janib kheench kay lati hai. Kya faida k insan ko sari zindagi is sukoon ki talaash he na karni paray? Asal sukoon toh wohi hai jo bay-sukooni kay baad milta hai. Aur phir zindagi ka asal maqsad bhi toh talaash hai na. Talaash-e-zaat, talaash-e-haqeeqat, talaash-e-Ishq!